A painting fiesta!
|1. Tony is not allowed to replace the entire contents of the cafeteria with pop-tarts just because Thor has declared it the ‘food of the gods.’|
|2. Natasha is not allowed to interrogate new S.H.I.E.L.D. employees and dispose of the ones she deems unworthy.|
|3. Clint is not allowed to continue insisting that is the final step of the interview process to terrified new hires.|
|4. Tony is not allowed to broadcast sing-along songs into the Hulk-cage, no matter amusing he finds teaching Hulk “Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear, turn around”|
|5. Clint is not allowed to put the security feed of the Hulk’s Teddy Bear dance on Youtube.|
|6. Bruce is not allowed to hack into personnel files to look up blackmail material on Director Fury.|
|7. Tony is not allowed to insist that he’s already done so and that Fury’s middle name is Rainbow Sprinkles…. Because it isn’t.|
|8. Thor is not allowed to be naked at Headquarters. Ever.|
|9. Steve is not allowed to address any female S.H.I.E.L.D. agents as ‘little lady,’ ‘broad,’ or ‘dame.’ It only ends in getting slapped.|
|10. Agent Coulson’s name isn’t “Mom.”|
|11. Director Fury should never again be addressed as “Dad”|
|12. Agent Hill is not the Avenger’s wicked stepmother.|
|13. Clint is not allowed to lurk in the shadowy rafters spying on people, unless specifically instructed to do so for an official S.H.I.E.L.D. sanctioned mission.|
|14. ‘Operation Irritate the Fuck Out of Nick Fury’ is not an official mission, no matter what Tony or Natasha say to the contrary.|
|15. Debriefings should not be preceded by tequila shots.|
|16. Debriefings should not be followed by tequila shots.|
|17. There are to be no shots of any kind during debriefings.|
|18. Thor and Hulk will wait to fight until after the battle is over.|
|19. Tony Stark is not God’s gift to women.|
|20. The Avengers do not need matching uniforms.|
|21. Tony and Bruce are not allowed to have a contest to see who can make a bigger “boom” in the lab.|
|22. Thor is not allowed to join in and make the biggest boom with his hammer.|
|23. The Avengers will not be celebrating Steve’s 94th birthday.|
|24. The laboratory is not Tony and Bruce’s ‘Super Secret Genius Clubhouse.’ They are not allowed to bar entry to employees based on IQ test results.|
|25. The Avengers are not making a promotional pin-up calendar. Or a sex tape.|
|26. Iron Man is not making a promotional pin-up calendar. Or a sex tape.|
|27. Tony Stark is not making a promotional pin-up calendar. Or a sex tape.|
|28. Thor is not allowed to ‘bring down the wrath of Odinson’ on the person who ate the last package of pop-tarts.|
|29. Pants are not optional at team meetings.|
|30. ‘Pepper said it was okay’ is not a good enough reason to defy a director order from command.|
|31. The words “What’s the worst that could happen?” are never to be uttered on a mission ever again.|
|32. MC Hammer did not write Thor a theme song.|
|33. Gumby is not the love child of Bruce Banner and Reed Richards.|
|34. Natasha and Clint are not allowed to impersonate members of the clergy ever again. Ever.|
|35. Blasting ‘Don’t Worry, Be Happy’ at top volume into Bruce’s room on loop overnight is not an effective way to suppress the Hulk.|
|36. Hawkeye is not sitting in the rafters waiting to pick off people playing Galaga on their computer during work hours.|
|37. Tony is not allowed to bribe Natasha and Clint to physically, emotionally or psychologically torture General Ross for being ‘a great big douchebucket’ and ‘being mean to Brucie-kins.’|
|38. Steve is ‘Captain America’ not ‘Captain New York and those 49 other, lesser states.’|
|39. ‘Hulk SMASH!’ is not an effective diplomatic policy.|
|40. Tony is not allowed to buy the Dodgers and move them back to Brooklyn to apologize for lighting Steve’s hair on fire.|
|41. The phrase ‘Trust me, I’m a doctor’ never leads anywhere good.|
|42. It is not funny to dare Bruce to drink three quarts of green food coloring before a urine test.|
|43. Steve is not to be introduced as ‘Captain Tightpants’ or ‘The All-American Virgin.’|
|44. The Avengers do not ‘charge into battle, naked like the Celts.’ Except for The Hulk. Sometimes.|
|45. Natasha’s glare is not in fact fatal. Tony is not allowed to continue implying that it is.|
|46. Tony is not allowed to convince Bruce to help him make death ray goggles so that it will be.|
|47. The Avengers are not allowed to overthrow the American government, just because they didn’t like the results from the last election.|
|48. The Avengers are not allowed to overthrow any government, without checking in with S.H.I.E.L.D. first.|
|49. Clint is not allowed to sell Thor any ‘magic beans.’|
|50. Natasha and Clint are not allowed to try to sell Tony to another planet, even if they are promised really cool new weapons in exchange.|
|51. Tony and Bruce are not allowed to go to any science conferences without a chaperone.|
|52. A robot Tony built does not count as a chaperone.|
|53. Nikola Tesla is not a vampire being held in the bowels of S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters.|
|54. Tony and Bruce are not allowed to go searching for him in the name of Science!|
|55. Clint’s super-power is not ‘being super-annoying.’|
|56. The following words and phrases are never to be uttered over communication devices during an active mission ever again:||“Exploring sexuality,” “Necrophilia,” “It’s getting hot in herr, so take off all your clothes,” “I hate everyone on this mission and I wish they’d die in a fire,” “Nick Fury can go suck on a big bag of sausages,” references to Bruce’s giant stash of weed, mention of anyone’s erection, or “Shawarma.”|
|57. If it makes Tony giggle for more than 30 seconds, it isn’t allowed.|
|58. If it makes Natasha crack a smile, it’s probably illegal.|
|59. Thor taking Jane to see Asgard does not count as an alien abduction. Clint should stop referring to it as such.|
|60. Just because Bruce agreed to work in Tony’s lab, does not mean he needs to get a “Property of Stark Industries” tattoo.|
|61. Tony is not allowed to design a robot to draw said tattoo on Bruce when he falls asleep in the lab.|
|62. Post-mission reports to Director Fury should not start out ‘So let me explain…’|
In the end, Captain America does not make the heroic sacrifice, thus further proving that Black Widow can handle the emotional weight of being a lead character. As if anyone could really forget the most quoted line in “The Avengers” — “I’ve got red in my ledger; I’d like to wipe it out” — it helps to have that line fresh in your mind when deconstructing what Widow does in the final act of what’s billed as a Captain America movie. Black Widow doesn’t wipe out the red in her ledger. No, she blasts her ledger out to the world, like it was the grisliest email forward of all time. We know from her heart to heart with Hawkeye that the shame she feels about what she’s done is real, and she hesitates when she realizes that taking down the bad guys means revealing her secrets. But she does it anyway, because she’s not just a spy anymore; she’s a super hero, and she makes a super hero’s sacrifice.
i just realized that maria hill reports directly to fury and natasha reports directly to fury and melinda may reports directly to fury and they’re the only ones we see regularly speaking to him
all three of director fury’s closest lieutenants are women how metal is that
4x09 || 4x11
How dare you?? When you know we’re supposed to be together??
I love how they give explanations to each other like pfft we are not a couple but let me clear things up just in case
So married that it hurts.
S1/S6 : Beckett getting ready for work.
This makes me so happy. Seeing how her routine is almost exactly the same - get a call, clothes, watch, ring - but it’s not so solitary anymore.
Yes, I love this parallel for exactly that reason. In her early days, life seemed almost a chore for her around her job. Now it’s something she enjoys, she’s found a place of happiness that she never thought she would.
Her engagement ring glitters in the sunlight as she lays pressed against his side. They’d dozed off hours before, the endorphin of their news still buzzing. When he woke, just moments before, the sun was still piercing and it couldn’t be no later than three in the afternoon, but he’s never been more relaxed before.
She’s going to be his wife. She’d once said to him that maybe third times the charm but he doubts she ever imagined herself as the third woman. It’s so much different for them both now; since she finally accepted him, their relationship had been a whirlwind of sex and love and emotions he hadn’t ever been aware that Kate Beckett could feel. With each day they spent together, he unveiled more and more about the woman he’d grown to love over the past five years.
Like how she snores in her sleep, but vehemently denies it whenever he brings it up. Or how when he wakes her up in the morning, be it for breakfast or to wake her up in the best way he knows how, the first thing she does is wrinkle her nose and swat at his face. She’s so beautiful, so open and so free. So different from the woman whom arrested him not that long ago. And God, he loves her.
"Staring is creepy," she murmurs finally, and he chuckles gently, the abrupt rise of his chest causing her body to wiggle along with it. She brings the arm that had been draped across his chest and wipes the back of her hand against her eyes as she opens one and glances up at him. "Do you do this often?" She asks, sleep evident in her voice and he just smiles at her. "Oh God, is this what I’m marrying?"
She’s trying to sound angry, he thinks, but there’s a part of her that sounds almost… touched? She pushes her face into the crook of his neck and nuzzles gently, sighing as the arm he’d wrapped around her post-celebration sex tightens and his fingertips draw shapes against her side.
"Didn’t hear you complaining earlier," he answered her finally, leaning his head against hers. He reaches across, his free hand brushing through her fingertips as she sighs again, contented.
"Not complaining now." She responds and he laughs again, feeling her smile against his skin.
He could most definitely get used to this.